top ten things I wish I had known about being married....

.....before I was.

This was our 30th anniversary year. We had a glorious celebration...several days at The Drake Hotel in downtown Chicago, an evening at the Chicago Lyric Opera listening to Puccini's Tosca , lunch one day at Rick Bayless's Frontera Grill, a day at the Chicago Art Institute, the surprising and beautiful gift of an anniversary ring.

We spent alot of time laughing and sharing stories, remembering the details of meeting in Dr. Ryder's Puritan literature class, of our wedding during the blizzard, of learning what it means to be a mom and dad, talking of where we will be in the next 30 years, relishing God's goodness to us in all of our life together.

6 children and nearly 6 grandbabies later, I have recently been thinking about my life, rewinding in my mind "Clay and Karen: The Early Years." The first few years were challenging...we moved alot, eventually ending up in Germany, me having babies and Clay jumping out of airplanes with 10th Special Forces. It was the best of times, the worst of times.

So, I was thinking, wondering what I wish I had known that would have been helpful. Here is my top ten list:

10. Husbands like to fix things, stuff in the house as well as stuff in my life. If I had wanted someone to commiserate with me about feeling fat or having a bad hair day, I should have kept my college roommate. A husband will never take you to Baskin-Robbins to listen to you drown your cellulite troubles in a triple dip Rocky Road sugar cone. Husbands do not understand that your bad hair can be fixed by browsing through Nordstrom's online shoe department.

9. Husbands don't want to watch girl movies or anything where Johnny Depp looks dreamy. He will promise to take you to a girl movie, however, and when you get there you find out that Star Wars is now a girl movie because there are girl aliens on the starship.

8. Husbands don't need to own red shoes, they don't understand that every day is a good day when you are stepping out in red shoes.

7. Husbands think a perfect meal is lasagna, cheesecake, and salad topped with finely grated parmesan cheese. Husbands like cholesterol.

6. Husbands are not born with the inward knowledge that a woman's hormonal balance is directly related to the amount of chocolate she consumes. This they must learn.

5. Husbands think that the statement "We need to get these boys ready for bed" means "These boys need to watch a few episodes of The Three Stooges and then wrestle to get ready for bed.

4. Husbands are not from Mars or Venus afterall. They are from Best Buy.

3. Husbands need a territory, a place to conquer, and wives need a home.

2. Husbands need to be honored and adored. Wives need to be cherished. Husbands will know they are honored when their wives tell them every day that they are the best. Wives will know they are cherished when they are helped with the dishes, vacuuming, and diapering. This is not rocket science.

And, the number one thing I wish I had known about being married before I was....

Husbands and wives are both gifts to each other from God, made in His image and declared righteous by His perfect sacrifice. Christian husbands and wives are to "one another" each other. In so doing, we fulfill the law of God and are obedient to Him. When both a husband and wife purpose, by God's grace to love and serve each other, marriage becomes a picture of Christ's sacrificial love to His bride, the Church. It is a simple, perfect plan.