mercy at the heart's door

Jeannie was a young single mother raising three girls when she was first referred to me for post-abortion counseling. Everything about her said “I have no life purpose.”

During our first session, Jeannie told me her story. In her early twenties at the time, she had met the man of her dreams. A handsome and charming firefighter, Dan swept Jeannie off her feet and before she knew it, they were living together. When they discovered that Jeannie was pregnant, Dan suggested that they were not ready to be parents. Jeannie knew in her heart that abortion was not the right thing to do but she agreed to have one. On the day she aborted their child, Dan waited in the car, emotionally detached and angry.

In the following days and weeks, an “invisible elephant” moved into their home with them. The abortion was at the center of every argument they had. Jeannie was depressed and had lost any motivation for living. Dan suggested that they get married, hoping they could erase the past and start over.

Now Jeannie sat across from me, telling me of the bittersweet births of their children, a cruel divorce, her adultery with a married counselor, and her lost dreams of becoming a teacher. Would I help her? Could she trust the Bible to help her through her depression? Could she ever be used of the Lord in ministry to others?

Jeannie was like most of the women I have talked with who carry the secret of a past abortion. As a Christian, she felt unusable in the body of Christ. Self-condemnation and overwhelming regret visited her daily leaving her unable to live a full and abundant life in Jesus Christ.

In your church there are many women just like Jeannie. Did you know that:

- 43% of women who are 45 or older have at least one abortion in their past?

- 80% of these women suffer from what is known as post-abortion trauma that results in depression, anger, sexual dysfunction, drug and alcohol abuse, eating disorders, guilt, and many other behavior problems?

- 250,000 born-again evangelical women make the choice to abort every year?

- 1 out of every 3.5 women in your church have had an abortion?

- On the day of her abortion, each woman has 60 other people who are affected by that choice, including spouses, children, parents, co-workers, and fellow church members?

Charles Spurgeon once said “The Lord’s mercy often rides to the door of the heart upon the black horse of affliction.” I know of no other affliction in someone’s life where this is more true than the burden of carrying a past abortion.

During the years I have spent listening to men and women tell their abortion stories, the one thing that I have noticed is the pervasive nature of abortion. The cloud of it seems to hang over ever area of life. It is the invisible elephant in every room of the house, always present, always in the way, always there to stumble upon, though never mentioned. While other sins are forgiven and forgotten, the sin of abortion, even when confessed and forgiven, seems to cast a shadow that brings a quality of sadness and grief over its owner. How often I have wept over this fact.

If you are a Christian who is suffering from the choice of a past abortion, I hope that you will recognize this shadow for what it is….Satan’s attempt to rob God of His glory in your salvation! If this is your story, it is God’s desire for you to place this burden before Him. He wants you to live a life free from the burden of this sin, free from the pain of the consequences that it has brought into your life.

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!”

Lamentations 3:22-24